The Kind Scot

One  afternoon a Scotsman was riding in his limousine when he saw two  men along the roadside eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered  his driver to stop and he got out to investigate..

He asked  one man, "Why are you eating  grass?"  "We  don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to  eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house  and I'll feed you," the  Scotsman said.

"But sir, I  have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under  that tree."

"Bring them along," the Scotsman  replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come  with us, also."

The second man, in a pitiful voice, then  said, "But sir, I also have a wife  and SIX children with  me!"

"Bring them all, as well," the Scotsman  answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task,  even for a car as large as the limousine was.

Once under  way, one of the poor fellows turned to the Scotsman and said,   "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with  you.

The Scotsman replied, "Glad to do it.

"You'll  really love my place.

"The grass is almost a foot  high"


Thx P

Southerners have a way with words!

These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:


1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." (My Favorite)

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." (National Crime Information Center )

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."




thx Big Al

Great song sung by doro pesch it is A Song for Me.

 doro pesch, A Song for Me.

This is one of the songs I would like to be played at my funeral reception,  it is the only common guarantee we all share. No I do not think it is  morbid  to think of those things,is it?

A BLACK FAWN

A BLACK FAWN / ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL

See all 3 pictures taken by RJ Verge near Beamsville ON Canada

Black deer are more rare than albinos . . ..

I have never seen or heard of these before.

 What beautiful pictures.

If you love animals . . . this is a rare and beautiful set of pictures.

Thx R

I love...I Love Nova...I Love Nova Scotia.

Now that's one 'big ass balloon!

'nuff said...

1911Ford Model T~100Years ago

The year is 1911 --- One hundred years ago.
What a difference a century makes!
Here are some statistics for the Year 1911:

************ ********* ************

The average life expectancy for men was 47 years.

Fuel for this car was sold in drug stores only.

Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower !

The average US wage in 1910 was 22 cents per hour.

The average US worker made between $200 and $400 per year ...

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,
A dentist $2,500 per year,

a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year,

and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

More than 95 percent of all births took place at home ..

Ninety percent of all Doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!
Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which

were condemned in the press AND the government as "substandard."

Sugar cost four cents a pound.

Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.

Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month,

and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from

entering into their country for any reason.

The Five leading causes of death were:

1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars...

The population of Las Vegas , Nevada , was only 30!!!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented yet.

There was niether a Mother's Day nor a Father's Day.

Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write and only 6 percent

of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter

at the local corner drugstores.

Back then pharmacists said, "Heroin clears the complexion,

gives buoyancy to the mind, Regulates the stomach and bowels,

and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health!"

( Shocking? )

Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic help .....

There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A. !

Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years.

thx to S

Retired Fun

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day, Bev my wife and I went into town and visited a shop.  When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?' He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.. I called him an a--hole? . He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tires. So Bev called him a s--t head?.  He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing more tickets. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.  Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home.  We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired.  It's important at our age. Thx A