WHAT PART OF YOUR BODY GOES TO HEAVEN FIRST? (Little Johnny)

The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, 'When you die and go to Heaven, which part 
of your body goes first?'

Suzy raised her hand and said, 'I think it's your hands.'

'Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?'

Suzy replied: 'Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first.'

'What a wonderful answer!', the nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, 'Sister, I think it's your feet.'

The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. 'Now, Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?'

Johnny said: 'Well, I walked past Mom and Dad's bedroom the other night. Mom had her legs up in the air and she was saying:
'Oh God! I'm coming!' If Dad hadn't pinned her down, I reckon we'd have lost her."

      The nun had to leave the room.



              lol, thx Big Al

Have the tree put up finally!!

Twas the month before Christmas

Twas the month before  ChristmasWhen all through our  land,Not a Christian was  prayingNor taking a  stand.Why the PC Police had taken  awayThe reason for Christmas - no one could  say.The children were told by their schools not to  singAbout Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and  things.It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers  would sayDecember 25th is just a ' Holiday  '.Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks  and creditPushing folks down to the floor just to get  it!CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an  I-PodSomething was changing, something quite  odd!Retailers promoted Ramadan and  KwanzaaIn hopes to sell books by Franken &  Fonda.As Targets were hanging their trees upside  downAt Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to  be found.At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and  SearsYou won't hear the word Christmas; it won't  touch your ears.Inclusive, sensitive,  Di-ver-is-tyAre words that were used to intimidate  me.Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf  BlitzenOn Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton  !At the top of the Senate, there arose such a  clatterTo eliminate Jesus, in all public  matter.And we spoke not a word, as they took away our  faithForbidden to speak of salvation and  graceThe true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and  discardedThe reason for the season, stopped before it  started.So as you celebrate 'Winter Break' under your  'Dream Tree'Sipping your Starbucks, listen to  me.Choose your words carefully, choose what you  sayShout MERRY  CHRISTMAS,not Happy  Holiday!Please, all Christians join together  andwish everyone you  meetMERRY  CHRISTMAS!
Christ is The Reason for the Christ-mas  Season!

Truism's

1 * Accept the fact that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue!

2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

4 * Drive carefully... It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker…

5 * If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague

6 * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

7 * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

8 * Never buy a car you can't push.

9 * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

10 * Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

11 * Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

12 * The second mouse gets the cheese.

13 * When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

14 * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

16 * Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

17 * We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty an d some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

18 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

19 * Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today.

20 * Save the earth..... It's the only planet with chocolate!

Here here!

Rizzly Chillin

Rizzly and Laine were walking in the park the other day, looks like Rizz was enjoying it a bit.

Gerald R. Yuill RIP

Gerald Reid Yuill

1954-2012

Gerald Reid Yuill - 58, Brookside, Colchester County, passed away suddenly Thursday, February 9, 2012, at Colchester Regional Hospital, Truro. Born January 18, 1954, in Truro, he was a son of Dorothy (Boomer) Yuill, Hilden, and the late Reid Yuill. 

Gerald spent his life in Truro. In his younger days, he was active in basketball and football and also had a passion for drag racing his Chevy. He was self-employed as a body man, working in his shop on Brookside Branch Road. He valued his family and spent many hours out on the “trikes” with his mother. Gerald had a special way with his nieces, nephews, great nieces and great nephews; they all seemed to be drawn toward “Uncle Gerald”. He will be sadly missed by his family and friends.

 

Along with his mother, Gerald is survived by his brother, Dennis (Cathy); sisters, Brenda (Frank) Smith, Debbie, Becky (Greg) Ash, Lynn (John) Roy; many nieces, nephews, great nieces and great nephews. 

Arrangements have been entrusted to Mattatall ~ Varner Funeral Home, 55 Young Street, Truro, where Gerald’s family will receive friends from 10-10:45 a.m., Tuesday, February 14, 2012, followed by the funeral service at 11 a.m., The Reverend Lori Ramsey officiating. Spring interment in Bible Hill Cemetery. If so desired, donations in Gerald’s memory to Canadian Cancer Society in memory of his father or to Maggie’s Place are welcomed. Private messages of condolence may be sent to the family by visiting the “Guest Book” at: www.mattatallvarnerfh.com

RIP Good Friend

DAMN TRACTOR!

  A farmer has three sons.

  One day, his oldest boy comes to him and pleads with him that he is 
  graduating from school and would really like to get a car.

  His father says, "Son, come with me."

  He takes him to the barn and points to the farm tractor and says, 
  "That tractor is needed here on the farm and I promise that as soon as

  it's paid for, we'll get you a car."

  The boy was not too happy but he did understand that situation and 
  said, "Okay, Dad."

  A week later, his second son (10 years old) approaches him wanting a 
  new two-wheel bicycle.

  Well, he gets the same excuse . "as soon as that tractor is paid for  "

  Shortly, a few days later, son number 3, his youngest, comes bugging 
  him for a tricycle.

  Again, ol' Dad gives him the lecture about the tractor being paid for  first.

  While leaving the barn, the young boy, more than a little disgusted 
  with the whole thing, sees a rooster mating with one of the hens and 
  promptly goes over and kicks the rooster smooth off the hen's back, 
  mumbling to himself the whole time.

  His dad says, "Son, why on earth would you do something like that? He 
  didn't do anything to you to deserve that!"

  The little boy looks his Dad right square in the eye and says, "Hey, 
  nobody rides anything around here until that damn tractor is paid for."

23 Adult Truths

23 Adult Truths

 1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8.. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call..

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Ladies.....Quit Laughing.