I will persist until I succeed

"I will persist until I succeed. 

I was not delivered into this world in defeat, nor does failure course through my veins. I am not a sheep waiting to be lead to slaughter by my shepherd; I am a Lion. And I refuse to walk, talk or sleep with sheep.

The slaughterhouse of failure is not my destiny.

I will persist until I succeed." - Og Mandino

Lovemaking Tips For Seniors

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember..

6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act..

8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbors are deaf, too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!

10. Don't even think about trying it twice.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD' IS WHEN....
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .

'OLD' IS WHEN..
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.

'OLD' IS WHEN....
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot..

'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

'OLD' IS WHEN....
You're not sure if these are facts or jokes.

(I sent this in large type so you can read it)

If you can relate to any of the above. You are part of my generation!

5 Things You Never Knew Your Cell Phone Could Do

For all the folks with cell phones. (This should be printed and kept in your car, purse, and wallet.  Good information to have with you.)    There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies.  Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival.    Check out the things that you can do with it:  FIRST (Emergency) The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find yourself out of the coverage area  of your mobile network and there is an Emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing  network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly, this number 112 can be  dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.  SECOND (Locked Keys in Car) Have you locked your keys in the car? Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in   handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone:    If you lock your keys In the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell  phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person  at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock.  Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds  of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other 'remote' for your car, you can unlock the  doors (or the trunk).  Editor's Note: It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a cell phone!'  THIRD (Hidden Battery Power) Imagine your cell battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370#. Your cell phone will restart with  this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when  you charge your cell phone next time.  FOURTH (How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?) To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following Digits on your phone:                           *#06#.  A 15-digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep  it somewhere safe.  If your phone is stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able   to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless.  You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either.  If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.   And Finally....  FIFTH (Free Directory Service for Cells) Cell phone companies are charging us $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411 information calls when they don't have  to. Most of us do not carry a telephone directory in our vehicle, which makes this situation even more of a problem.  When you need to use the 411 information option, simply dial:                  (800) FREE411   or   (800) 373-3411  without incurring any charge at all.  Program this into your cell phone now.  This is sponsored by McDonalds.  Thx S for this one

Happy New Year

O joy joy joy... don't I look happy.

278.6mph, 448.36km/h, Worlds Fastest Turbo Charged Hayabusa Streetbike. On-board Video

Fast fast fast. click here.

At the Texas Mile, October 2010, Bill Warner of Wild Bros Racing goes 278.6 mph in a standing start mile, on a 650rwhp turbo charged Suzuki Hayabusa Streetbike. On board video taken facing rearward using an AiM Sports SmartyCam with in-video display of GPS speed. (sample rate of the in camera GPS does not allow recording of the top speed that was set in the timing traps)

Cowboy Boots

Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.  

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?" 

Margaret looked him over. "Nope."  

Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.  

Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?" 

Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Furious, Bert yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"

"Nope.  Not a clue", she replied.

"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"  

Without missing a beat Margaret replied, 

"Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat." 

Thx S

The maid asked for a raise.

The Madam was very upset about this and asked: "Now Maria, why do you want an increase?"

Maria: Well Madam, there are three reasons why I want an increase. The first is that I iron better than you.
Madam: "Who said you iron better than me?"

Maria: "The Master said so."
Madam: "Oh."

Maria: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Madam: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than I?"

Maria: "The Master did."
Madam: "Oh."

Maria: "My third reason is that I am a better lover than you."
Madam (very upset now): "Did the Master say so as well?"

Maria: "No Madam, the gardener did."

SHE GOT THE PAY RAISE..!














Thx Big Al