DAMN TRACTOR!

  A farmer has three sons.

  One day, his oldest boy comes to him and pleads with him that he is 
  graduating from school and would really like to get a car.

  His father says, "Son, come with me."

  He takes him to the barn and points to the farm tractor and says, 
  "That tractor is needed here on the farm and I promise that as soon as

  it's paid for, we'll get you a car."

  The boy was not too happy but he did understand that situation and 
  said, "Okay, Dad."

  A week later, his second son (10 years old) approaches him wanting a 
  new two-wheel bicycle.

  Well, he gets the same excuse . "as soon as that tractor is paid for  "

  Shortly, a few days later, son number 3, his youngest, comes bugging 
  him for a tricycle.

  Again, ol' Dad gives him the lecture about the tractor being paid for  first.

  While leaving the barn, the young boy, more than a little disgusted 
  with the whole thing, sees a rooster mating with one of the hens and 
  promptly goes over and kicks the rooster smooth off the hen's back, 
  mumbling to himself the whole time.

  His dad says, "Son, why on earth would you do something like that? He 
  didn't do anything to you to deserve that!"

  The little boy looks his Dad right square in the eye and says, "Hey, 
  nobody rides anything around here until that damn tractor is paid for."

23 Adult Truths

23 Adult Truths

 1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8.. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call..

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Ladies.....Quit Laughing.